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+title: A Transcript
+date: 2018-12-30
+author: Wolfgang Müller
+
+though one thing still disturbs me greatly  
+and I don't know whether I am alone in this  
+but it is most obvious at night, in the dark  
+or in the haze, the fog;  
+that I am not fully there - that there is  
+in another space, another self, not me  
+but indistinguishble from me,  
+yet wholly alien.  
+
+it is irksome to know this, and  
+whilst I have come to learn how to cope,  
+it never fully leaves me, this thought  
+that I am fake.  
+
+it seems an impossible situation, to be  
+and not to be at the same time, and to  
+hide and show as necessary, just so;  
+yes, the necessity of it is still of  
+great difficulty. I am not sure  
+whether to continue or not, to be,  
+to not be, at the same time.  
+
+since, in the past, it worked and  
+sometimes made it easy.  
+yet, it is not honest, and I fear  
+being eaten up from the inside  
+by this self, and for it  
+to take over.  
+
+then, nothing will be true  
+but everything will go on as if  
+it were.  
+
+and so I leave this query with  
+utmost confusion and no real  
+hope of assurance  
+that my self be saved and the other  
+to be discarded.